Discussion from Chapters 5 & 6

WOW! For those of you that were unable to make it last night, you missed out on an amazing time of sharing, discussion, prayers and tears. The chapters we read and discussed were about the role of the father in the home. Yet, even though each of the women present last was married and grateful for a loving, involved husband, our hearts and minds were led to discuss the "what ifs", if you will.

What if my husband were not there? Some of us have friends that are divorced...one has a friend whose husband tragically died in a car accident last week.

What if I and my husband do all that Dobson is telling us we should do and my kid still decides to do his own thing? Not follow Christ, have sex before marriage, do drugs, etc.

What if? What if?

So instead of breaking down the "formula" of things a father should do (according to Dobson), or figuring out how we, as a group of women, can supplement in the areas we think our husbands are falling short, we chose to come humbly before the Lord and ask him for help.

We prayed for the woman who just lost her husband in a car accident, Kathy, and for her kids, 4 and 2 years old, with another on the way. We prayed for our husbands. We prayed for wisdom and grace for ourselves. And we prayed for our kids!

Pray for your kids today! Pray for your husbands! Pray that God gives you wisdom of how to love and support your husband in his role as father. My heart is humbled and encouraged to the task set before me. I pray that yours is as well.

Discussion from Chapters 3 & 4

In Chapter 3, Dr. Dobson explains some of the internal "wiring" that makes boys different from girls. We discussed this briefly, commenting on how amazing God's handiwork is. He DID create some major differences in boys and girls! We shouldn't expect them to act or react the same to identical situations.

Our discussion of Chapter 4 began with this insight, "Are boys more likely to do everything dangerous, risky, or stupid?" It sure seems like it, according to Dobson. But why is that? We traced most (if not all) of the "bad" behaviors back to the lack of inhibition/fear, or the aggresive nature of boys, both inherent in their make-up. So we took some time discussing how we, as parents, can help our boys slow down and think...or differentiate when it is OK to take the risk/be aggressive, and when you can't. Any suggestions?

We also touched on Dobson's idea of body image affecting (or wounding) boys. We, as women, tended to see girls as the main victims of the media's onslaught of false images of beauty or "perfection". We chatted about the boxes that society puts boys in (according to their image)...emo, metro, homosexual, jock, brainy, I'm sure there's more I'm leaving out. How can a boy just be himself without having to align himself with a particular group? How can we, as moms, encourage our boys to be the man God wants him to be (all his gifts, talents, looks, and personality traits included)? How do we protect our boys from the world's false ideals of "manliness" and prevent their spirits from becoming abused or wounded (as Dobson refers to it) without making him feel victimized beyond the immediate circumstances?

Any helpful thoughts? Comments? Encouragement?

Look forward to reading your insights...and meeting with you next Wednesday night (6/25) to cover Chapters 5 & 6.

Discussion from Chapters 1 & 2

In Chapter 1, Dobson outlines for us the "Wonderful World of Boys". He says on pg. 4, "One of the scariest aspects of raising boys is their tendency to risk life and limb for no good reason. It begins very early. If a toddler can climb on it, he will jump off it. He careens out of control toward tables, tubs, pools, steps, trees, and street. He will eat anything but food and loves to play in the toilet. He makes 'guns' out of cucumbers or toothbrushes and likes digging around in drawers, pill bottles, and Mom's purse....As he gets older he is drawn to everything dangerous....It's a wonder any of them survive. Not every boy is like this, of course, but the majority of them are....I was one of those kids who lived on the edge of disaster."

We discussed some crazy things our boys, brothers, dads, or grandpas have done in their life. Anyone out there have some good stories to share? Something ONLY A BOY would do?

In Chapter 2, Dobson explores some of the ways boys are different than girls. Corey, who has one girl and two boys, was able to share about watching her 3 little ones play in the backyard and the differences in their play...not unlike Dobson explaining the different ways boys and girls play with dollhouses. "Girls tended to 'play house', using the plastic structure in the traditional way....The boys played with the dollhouse too, but not as anticipated. They catapulted the baby carriage off the roof and generally messed up the game for the girls." pg. 16.

Our question that came out of chapter 2 was, how do we, as parents in an age that has become more gender neutral, encourage our children to be "all boy" or "all girl" without limiting their activities or interests to gender-specific items?

Looking forward to reading your insights!

Book Study Outline

Hey, glad you found us! Starting tonight, and for the next 11 weeks, we will be meeting at 7 p.m. in Room 201 to discuss James Dobsons' book, Bringing up Boys.

This post is to outline the chapters we will be discussing in the coming weeks. We encourage you to read the chapters outlined before coming! But don't let that keep you...come even if you haven't read.

Tonight (6/10) - Ch. 1 "The Wonderful World of Boys"
& Ch. 2 "Vive la Diference"

Wed, June 17 - Ch. 3 "So What IS the Difference?"
& Ch. 4 "Wounded Spirits"

Wed, June 25 - Ch. 5 "The Essential Father"
& Ch. 6 "Fathers & Sons"

Wed, July 2 - Ch. 7 "Mothers and Sons"

Wed, July 9 - Ch. 8 "Chasing the Caterpillar"

Wed, July 16 - Ch. 9 "The Origins of Homosexuality"
& Ch. 10 "Single Parents & Grandparents"

Wed, July 23 - Ch. 11 "Let's Go For It!"
& Ch. 12 "Men R Fools"

Wed, July 30 - Ch. 13 "Boys in School"
& Ch. 14 "Predators"

Wed, August 6 - Ch. 15 "Staying Close"
& Ch. 16 "Disciplining Boys"

Wed, August 13 - Ch. 17 "The Ultimate Priority"

Wed, August 20 - Mother/Son Party...details to come!

Hope you can join us for all or some of the meetings on Wednesday nights! If not, I hope you can join us via this blog...I will post every Thursday morning on the questions/comments that came up in our disussions the night before and will welcome your input as well via the blog. Look forward to all the good learning to come!